George Carlin: 'Balance The Budget'

Source:HBO- Part of George Carlin's 1996 HBO special. 

Source:The New Democrat 

"George Carlin's brilliant idea on how to balance the budget by eliminating prisons...  

From Feral Boy

George Carlin's comedic approach ( that's right, I don't actually think he's serious here ) to balancing the budget reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode where Jack Warden, plays a convicted murderer who is sentenced to life without parole to another planet. A life of isolation where he's sent to another livable planet where he'll have all the food, water, housing, everything that he would need to survive for the rest of his natural life. The catch being that he'll live there in complete isolation without anyone to talk to, but with the freedom to do whatever he wants to on that planet all by himself. For example, he could have sex on this far away distant planet, just by himself.

George Carlin's solution to criminal violence

Put all the violent criminals together in one state after you forcefully removed all the decent people there and let the violent criminals beat the hell out of each other and even kill each other, just as long as they're not hurting or killing anyone else. Which is sort of like my liberal approach to personal freedom which is allowing for people to do whatever they want to, just as long as they're doing it to them self or to another consenting adult.

I'll give Carlin an A for interesting ( or should that be a I for interesting, me and my spelling ) the problem is that we have a Fourth, Fifth, and 8th amendments to our Constitution. As much as Carlin and I'm sure some of his supporters at least also disagree with this, people in Kansas or whatever rural state you want to use are not just people, but also Americans and therefor have the same constitutional rights as people from San Francisco, Boston or New York. Even if they're farmers and their parents gave them two first names, because they couldn't decide on a single first name to give them.

George Carlin's solution to sex crimes

I gotta go along with George Carlin's solution when it comes to sex crimes. If these assholes need to have sex so much in a nonconsensual way, put them all together in some institution and let them do that. They can screw each other until their dicks fall off and even rape each other. Just as long as they're not screwing or raping our women and girls. I could go along with that.

George Carlin's solution to drug addiction

How about we deport all of them to Holland or Portugal and they can get as high as New York skyscrapers all they want to and drive while they're high and drunk, just as long as they're not able to hit anyone who isn't high or drunk and by enlarge lives a responsible life. I could see why Holland or Portugal would have a problem with us sending them our drug addicts, but it might be worth looking into.

George Carlin's solution to crazy people

How about we send all of our mental patients to that planet that Jack Warden was sent to on that Twilight Zone episode, which might just be Arizona or New Mexico and they can live out of this world as much as they want, just as long as they can't hurt anyone who is not also crazy. The problem with that is we have a lot of crazy people who aren't in mental institutions or even in prisons because our mental institutions are already overcrowded and a lot of these people already vote.

Balancing the Federal budget in Washington is like swimming to London from New York, because you're too cheap to buy a plane ticket or take a boat, I'll believe it when I see it. And when that happens peace will have broken out between Israel and Palestine and people will be flying pigs because they don't want to buy plane tickets. 

Washington right now doesn't have much ability to even do the simple things that they're currently required to do by statue and by the Constitution like passing a budget and appropriations bills, so why they would they be able to balance a budget when borrowing money from China is so much easier politically.